“Because what’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?” – James Patterson
Dealing with unrequited love:
Give yourself permission to grieve. Unrequited love hurts. Just because you shouldn’t beg or take it personally doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to mourn the circumstances. Your hopes for a relationship with this person have been cut short. It’s perfectly okay to grieve.[
- Allow yourself to feel your emotions, however they come. Anger, humiliation, sadness—all of these feelings might pop up after dealing with unrequited love.
- Be gentle with yourself. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to “shake off” what you’re feeling. Grant yourself permission to be upset for a few days.
Get some distance from the person. The best course of action for healing after unrequited love is to put some distance between you and the person you care about. Seeing them every single day will only make getting over them that much harder.
- Take them off the pedestal. It’s common to idolize someone you love. Unfortunately, this illusion prevents you from seeing the person as they really are. You may be broken-hearted because such a perfect person rejected you, but have you ever considered they aren’t actually perfect?
- Channel your feelings into creative pursuits. When you do get wrapped up in your feelings, use them to create something new. Write that book you’ve always talked about, pen the words to a song to play on your guitar, or paint a picture to give to your parents.
- Look for patterns in your romantic feelings. Do you have a habit of falling for people who don’t love you back? If you can recall several other cases of unrequited love, you may be purposely seeking out people who are unavailable to protect yourself from forming any attachments.